since you can’t battle the time ever – better you can try to battle but you can’t ever win, it is probably more precise when I say I am currently battling with my resistance and my inner blockades.
Julia Cameron speaks about being blocked is one of the most difficult things to first recognize and secondly to over come.
It is easy for me to say, to feel and even more to belief that I don’t have time to write and to be creative. But actually what the difficulty is, is to allow myself to put my energy in a different or in an additional direction to work. Often I am so afraid about being too tired the next day that I pressure myself to conserve the little energy I have left in the evening for the next day at work.
I don’t think I am a workaholic and yet it seems to be kind of strange that I let work overrule everything else, even the time which is free of working hours.
So could it than be, that the tiredness is just the disguise of my workaholism which tries to keep as much energy for itself, without sharing the time and energy for the other creative me?
on new years eve I was looking back on the posts of the elephants first journey and I felt the fun I had writing the posts as well as reading them. At the same time I felt sad that I did abandoned the writing not only because of missing time but also because I felt that the mission was accomplished by having done the move from one continent to the other therefore not having any longer an excuse to write publicly about my thoughts an feelings.
I do miss writing and so now I choose to follow-up on it and continue sharing the thoughts which are coming to my mind, somehow without me giving them permission to pop up in my head.
Julia Cameron’s book the right to write, she writes about laying track and looking at writing in a way of setting the thoughts free which come to you. I like her statement that the thoughts are out there somewhere in space and come to you in order to be put down, to be set free.
Without having a valid purpose, I feel taking a risk and exposing myself to the world by sharing my thoughts, but I also know that I need to materialize my thoughts in order to continue the creative journey.