Monthly Archives: August 2012

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proofing that time off is not lazing around

the problem with having time off is that everyone is asking you in a kind of suspicious and cynical tone “so what are you doing now the whole day?” or they just compile it to the statement “ah, lazing around…” … Continue reading

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recognizing patterns of resistance

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I started my day as almost every day for the last few weeks. I first did the dishwasher, put away the pots and pans and cleaned the kitchen while my tea was waiting for me. Than I started my “to … Continue reading

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A healthy summer break to collect stories from the past

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It feels good to take a break, it feels better to enjoy the summer with and in the cold water of one of the most beautiful lakes in Europe and it is the biggest treasure hunt to go back to … Continue reading

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writing for no audience seems to be easier and takes my fear to write

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Thoughts are storming through my head since last night, not giving me any break. I try to figure out my way, I try to find meaning in my live. How can I dare to continue painting butterflies when the massage … Continue reading

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the importance of spreading your wings after a shitty night

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Again a night without continuous sleep, I feel as I would be 18 again having drunk and partied all night… I am not quite sure which one is better, having the impression to have had a great time before you … Continue reading

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being tired isn’t easy to admit

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when one asks me why I quit my job, I tell them I needed a break, but normally do not share how tired I am, tired in a way of being exhausted and unable to partake in normal daily activities. … Continue reading

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Thanks for the non scary things in live

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I just had the thought of what a luck I had yesterday to choose the butterfly as my daily task, to trick myself into producing something real. A butterfly I guess is the least scary thing in this world, it … Continue reading

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One butterfly at a time

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Ok. Giving myself structure seems not to be enough, I need to trick myself a little tiny bit. Instead of showing you the results of my artistic live each day, I am going to paint each day one butterfly, as … Continue reading

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De-clustering

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  De-clustering is a good thing, especially when you are actually doing it instead of just re-arranging things. The idea of giving myself some structure worked this morning only semi professional, meaning that the structure I came up with two … Continue reading

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The idea that some structure might help

Second day of the flying elephant project I realize I need some structure, I need to make myself a nett to fall in to. Some security by giving me myself some hold. I actually love to show up on the … Continue reading