writing for no audience seems to be easier and takes my fear to write


Thoughts are storming through my head since last night, not giving me any break.
I try to figure out my way, I try to find meaning in my live.
How can I dare to continue painting butterflies when the massage about the injustice, the cruelty and the suffering in this world strikes me. When I receive the truth about 27 million humans enslaved in this world?

You can watch this TED talk if you want to understand what I try to express here in my blog… glimpse of modern day slavery

How can I try to find happiness? Is this really what I am supposed to do?
How can I combine both looking for my happiness and at the same time do good for others? How can I help to make this place a better place? How can I use all the good experience and my open consciousness to do both.

When I am thinking about writing, addressing these issues in my blog, I become scared, scared of the open question, of my not knowing what to answer or what the answer could be.
I think about the audience which I do not know and which I am afraid of judging me in my naive thinking.
I also think about having to keep it short, so that people would not get bored and that I do come to the point, the point I so often do wish people would come to when they talk without a pause or something worth sharing.

I am afraid to take the time, to speak up and out all the thoughts I have and the reasons behind. I daub, that what I have to say is important or interesting enough to listen to…Because I am still being in search for the path worth walking.

The only thing which seems to make sense is doing something real, taking action and not staying within the thoughts, to stop thinking and to take action…

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