I never thought it could be such a battle, I never thought that resistance is so powerful. As for up to today, resistance was like a little kid, not wanting to walk any further, but with a small treat, a little chocolate or some special attention and love it would move ahead and would let me continue my work.
But since I am working on my website, the resistance became the huge giant the warrior who would block my way, the dragon who spits fire. This is bigger than the normal resistance, this is a wall out of stone 10 m heigh.
Designing the layout, choosing color, graphics and structure was doable and it was the normal wrestling with the resistance. Now where I need to finalize the text, need to write my work experiences and need to show how good the work is I did so far, now where I have to name my genius, the resistance became the giant.
It wants to keep me small, it tells me “how dare are you to write this, this was work you did in a different office, not you own property, even though yes, you did the work, but you are not allowed to claim it”.
And “what are you thinking, who would want to work with you, what can you show”.
Next thing it trows in my direction is “HA HA you want to even write about your photography, a hobby, something mediocracy – you will ruin your reputation as a serious architect if you bring this in…”
And the biggest is “you can not write, your writing and your text is so bad, you either draw yourself as a professional overachiever, or you show how lousy your writing is”
Resistance hits all my buttons and it does find the very most sensible wounds in me. Resistance wants to keep me away – what if this really will work out ? – I am even uncertain if I want to do this work…
BUT I did set my goal, I did promised to finish this battle by the end of this week. There are only 2 ½ days left to finish this.
AND I beg you resistance, to no longer stand in my way, I will finish it no matter what and you are starting to better work here with me or the website will be published as bad as you are promising. I know you, you want me to be save and not hurt out in the world – I appreciate this – But as I said, I will finish this no matter what and you can choose to either let me fail or you can chose to become part of the success.
I have to continue here with my work now, so never mind…