April – monthly review

It is the first of May, a day which I spend as a teenager and young adult with friends hiking through the freshly green leaved forest, singing and drinking, barbecuing and just enjoying life.
Today I look back at this time and wonder what happened to life, did it passed without me noticing it?

In some way I do think, yes it passed, there is no continuation of this tradition, partly because I do not have a family on my own which I could pass on these traditions. Hiking with the kids and introducing them into this kind of memorizing the key dates in a years circle…I miss it even without knowing how it would feel like.

So I better just look back to last month, trying to figure out what there is to share about that particular month.

April was focused on what comes next, smaller projects have been planed and the direction set for the professional life. Painting did disappear into the background letting me focus on other things – more important ones? I daub, but for some reasons I choose to do so…

It seems to me very difficult to see clearly what my life is meant to do be like. Sometimes I think people with children have the perfect excuse to not ask themselves this question, as it is so obvious and demanding to just be there for them… We, the ones left behind without a family on our own will have to create a meaning, constructing a reality which makes somehow some sense and life worth living…


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